what a day

So of course, I start off the week amazingly by hitting a parked car's sideview mirror off. I had to leave a note. Luckily, they were nice and it should be cheap, but geez it's annoying. I hate that cadillac.

The Dude is starting to be even more awesome (if that's possible). He follows (with his eyes) me and John across the room. He has conversations with me. I can see him moving his tongue around trying to form words, but instead these adorable little coos come out. It's fantastic. I had a talk with him last week and we decided that he is going to skip crawling, and go straight to walking by the time he's six months old. The floors in my house are way too bad for him to be crawling on. We need to skip that stage.

I finally went to my first "real" party since having The Dude. I didn't do too bad. No hangover the next day. Hell, one of the people who the party was for only made it about 3 hours so I hung in there twice as long as he did. Yay! Now on to planning my birthday party. My goal is 10 people. And it will be awesome because it will be a Lady Gaga dance party. Win.

He was OUT

John tried to wake him up...he popped his eyes open for a second...

...but was too tired.

you know i'm serious...

about this losing weight deal when I pass up going to Hooters for lunch with my coworkers. Especially since I've been craving them for about 3 weeks now. Sigh. But...I need to look good for our Florida trip in a couple months. The Dude's been practicing for the pool and beach. I call his complexion transparent, so no amount of sunbathing will ever amount to anything. But it can still be the most ridiculously cute thing ever.

He's ready, dude!

He passed out after his breathing treatment. I followed suit about 5 minutes later.

whisper words of wisdom...

Today has been alright so far. I overslept so I didn't get to feed The Dude before I left. That's always a bummer. It's really the only mommy/dude time I get before work. And he was sleeping so peacefully that I didn't even kiss him goodbye cause I didn't want to wake him up. I have to say, now that he has learned to suck his thumb, he is the CUTEST sleeper ever.

This weekend we put him in his walker for the first time. His legs are still too short to touch the ground, but I'm pretty sure he loved being pushed around in it. He was so cute.

Cross eyed baby! Haha

We're getting our taxes done today which equals some MUCH NEEDED $$$! These medical bills are killing us. On another happy note, I'm starting adult tap tomorrow. I can't wait! I miss dancing so much. I will never be able to devote as much time as I used to, but I am so happy to be able to do even just a little bit. Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait.

I miss...

I hate time away from him

The Dude.
Remember how I said I can be really vain? This is one of my favorite pictures from my wedding day. This was right before I walked down the aisle. I was so excited!

Let's do this!

I can't wait to pick up The Dude after work.

it's friiiday friiiday friday!

It's Friday. Yay!

So, I'm trying to challenge myself. Not just the weight thing. I want to have a new mindset. For my entire life, I've always cared way too much about what people think of me. I've tried my entire life to fit in. The truth of the matter is, it's never worked. I had friends in middle school- we were really good friends. Then we went to high school and they all remained friends and made new friends, and for some reason, I didn't make the cut. I also didn't really make any new friends. There were a few, but we only keep in contact via Facebook, and even then, it's very little contact. Even at the dance studio, I was always the secondary. We had 4 teachers, and 3 were really good friends. Guess who wasn't included in that 3? I had 2 best friends at the studio, but they went on to college while I was graduating college at home. So through no fault of their own, I was left behind again.

Now it seems as though the group of friends I acquired as an adult is also splitting. And again, I'm kind of on the losing end. Why do I care about a friend who obviously doesn't care to see me. I've tried to reach out, but to no avail. My only other option is to invite myself over and I don't want to do that. (Hello desperate). I've finally gotten to the point where I just don't give a shit. I have my husband. I have my son. I do have a few very good friends that I don't think will ever leave me. I have my parents and step-parents, and in-laws, and siblings. I don't need anything else.

So yeah, the birthday party will once again be extremely lame. Once I got past middle school, it seems as though I am not allowed to have a great birthday party. John wants to make it a blowout and get an ice luge, but I really think it's going to be a waste of money. The 2 birthday parties we've had for me since we've had the house have been extremely lame; as well as any other party aimed towards me. We invited over 40 people to the baby shower and I think maybe a dozen showed up. Like my bridal shower. We invited 25 people. Only 9 showed up (2 were my sister's friends. And keep in mind, I had 9 bridesmaids, so not even all of them came.) And I think I counted myself as one of those nine. My in-town bachelorette party consisted of me, my sister and a few of her friends. I'm quite sick of busting my ass planning awesome parties and no one comes. I think my husband is probably sick of holding me and trying to console me as I sob and ask why nobody likes me.

But I want to move past all of this. I'm almost 25. My husband and son are awesome and that's really all I need.  Enough of the self-loathing. I need to get back to work. Just wanted to get this off my chest, as I start planning what is sure to be a failure of a birthday party.

here we go...

It's quiet in the office today. (Well, quiet except for The Dude crying...) For three reasons:
1. 3 people are on "spring break" (I didn't realize grown adults with careers took spring breaks)
2. It's St. Patrick's Day
3. (most important) U of L and UK are playing their first tournament games today.

I knew it'd be a pretty lax day today, but this far exceeds my expectations. Hence, my decision to start a blog.

This week brings about 2 things: I have now been a mother to a human baby for 3 1/2 months and I am finally working on shedding the baby weight. Although, it's not really fair to call it the baby weight. It's unfair blame to The Dude. He didn't make me buy all those $5 boxes from Taco Bell. And eat all the cookies and candy (I blame that one on my boss for getting a vending machine.) Hell, I've gained ten pounds since I popped him out. Why did I choose this week to start the shedding of my fat ass? Well, for one, it's been 3 1/2 months since I had The Dude. And secondly, I had two people tell me this week that I'm basically not physically capable of running the 6.2 mile leg of the marathon. There is nothing that burns me more than someone doubting me so I am now on a quest to prove them wrong.

Besides being a fatty, everything else in my life is pretty fabulous. My husband is pretty much the best person ever. Seriously, the comments from guests at our wedding were as follows:

"Stem, you are an example for mankind. If everybody in the world was like you, we wouldn't have any problems...And Amy, you looked so beautiful in your dress." (To be fair, it never hurts to appeal to my vain side)

My baby girls are amazing, despite what some close-minded idiots might like to try to tell you. (I have 2 pit bulls. We'll delve into that later.)

And The Dude. I seriously didn't know it was possible to love something so much. Or for a baby this cute to exist. Seriously, my son is a-freakin-dorable. And such a sweetheart. I can't wait to see where he grows from here. I know he'll be a fine, young man because his mom and dad wouldn't have it any other way.

And there's my job. It's in the insurance industry (which, incidentally is NOT going to crash and burn because of reform.) But the cool part is the people I work with. And my boss. He's let me bring The Dude in since I came back from maternity leave. He has started going to daycare, but can still come in "a couple days a week". I keep it to one day, cause I have an awesome daycare and don't want to lose his spot.

As I type The Dude keeps nodding off. If I touch his head, he flings his head back, spreads his arms out and breathes in deep. Then he slowly falls back asleep and his head falls forward. It's amazingly adorable.

You can't help but smile

I'm going to get back to work...or, start working. Closing time in an hour. Til next time.